Brevity

Before Wikipedia, there was Tom. He had the answer to everything – and not just tangible, definite answers to math problems or sports trivia. He had well thought out opinions on everything too. In the past several months anytime some debacle happens or major event takes place in the world, I often think to myself “what would Tom have to say about this?” What would Tom have thought of the stock market crash last fall? How would Tom propose we fix health care in the US? How excited would Tom have been on Election Day last year?

Tom was a difficult guy to impress, which made his approval seem all that more meaningful. One time in college I signed up to run a half-marathon. I ran really well that day, but through no fault of my own, the police who were supposed to be directing the runners sent the front pack the wrong way, which resulted in the course being cut over a mile short. When I came back to the Fraternity section for our weekly “gavel” (random musings about the past week), I told the story of what had happened, and Tom was like “you only ran 11.8 miles – wimp…” If you were caught complaining about something not worth complaining about – the weather, school, etc… Tom was quick to call you out and put you in place.

Tom was rarely one to complain himself – and there were often times when Tom, who was usually outspoken, said very little at all. The fall after the two of us migrated from NC up to the Northeast, I visited him in his dorm-like apartment in Stuyvesant Town. Before meeting up with some friends, we sat and watched Game 7 of the NLCS – Cubs vs. Marlins. I’m a baseball atheist, but I knew enough about sports history, the debacle of Bartman and the previous game… and of course, I knew how painful this was for Tom to watch. We sat in virtual silence and watched the Cubs fall painfully short of the World Series. After the game, he only said something to the effect of “damn Cubs. Let’s go out.” His few words seemed to sum it all up.

I remember celebrating New Years of 2005 with Tom in our own self-destructive way, each hour on the hour. We made it to Mountain Standard Time, cursed Saskatchewan and in particular the residents of Saskatoon. Then Tom went into his patented bunny hop / bear-hug mode, and I became “the rabid koala” and we waged an epic WWF style wrestling match which only ended when the 350 pound Gooch sat on all of us simultaneously. My glasses were broken in the process, and I remember a long subway ride back and walk to Krista’s apartment – with Krista ranting and raving about Tom the entire way back. I remember trying to pretend to be somewhat angry myself, so as to not ire Krista further, but on the inside I kept thinking “that was a good New Years party.” I believe that was the last New Years before Tom was diagnosed.

Fast forward two and a half years. The day after my wedding, as Tom was leaving to go back to New York, we shook hands and exchanged a few words. He did not say goodbye, he just simply said “see you soon.” I can’t think of three better words he could have said.